Family

What does family mean to you? To me it's the people who you should know will be there for you, no matter what happens. Their the one's who catch you and put you back on your feet when no one else does. The people who love you and support you regardless of anything else.

I can say these things are true of most of my family. Except my dad, and that makes me really sad. But my father has some very interesting views on the world, views which I can't agree with. I respect his views though, since I believe each to their own... but he won't show the same courtesy for me. Along with his constant expectations, and when you don't live up to his expectations... you know about it. I have never been good at talking to my dad, for a number of reasons. I am still polite and never rude when I speak to him, but I don't feel like I will ever be able to be close with him. Lately he's said some things which really hurt me, things that a person can't just get over. I don't want things to be this way and I have always tried to keep things good between us. But I think you just get to a point when they have just hurt you to many times, that you give up.

I've been trying for 19 years, and yesterday I finally gave up. Maybe things will get better a few years from now, but for now I'm done trying.