Random :)

I haven't blogged in a while! And yeah I am just going to rant on in this one.. it has no real specific topic haha. Just a general -whats on my mind- post.

Well I got a letter from Sami yesterday which was sooo good. I haven't heard from her in ages! Those were good times back then. I miss the days that were so simple, ahh I wish things didn't have to seem so difficult now. Or maybe I just make them seen difficult.. lol. Just school is driving me crazy, like I really like the social aspect of school... hate the work part. But thats what we are at school for and I really don't try as hard as I should. But I'm sorry I find it hard to put my all into something I don't want to do. Sure I want to get good results from school but I'm not interested in the work I am doing at school. But I force myself to do it, just like we all have to. And the stress associated with school is just so bad. But in many ways I think I make it harder for myself. I've noticed certain things that I do, that I HAVE to get out of the habit of doing. Such as: leaving things to the last minute!!! Another thing that I do (in general not just in association to school) is I am always scared of how people we react to things.. and like i mean anything. And I'm so scared of hurting people or making them feel uncomfortable... like putting them on the spot. Even when in most cases they wouldn't react in a negative way, my mind seems to just pick at certain negative reactions which they could have which in most cases they would not have anyway!! And so it makes me put things off, things I need to do! So I need to stop doing that!

And then when you have other things going on outside of school, it makes it so much harder to try and even concentrate on your school work. I wish sometimes that there was some person who was here to tell me what I have to do next and how I should deal with certain situations. But I guess it's up to us to make those decisions, and it's part of the whole making mistakes and learning from them process. Which is important I think. And we all find it hard to know where our lives are leading and it's scary. We don't know if the choices we are making now are the right ones or not. Wondering wether the path we are taking is the one we want to be on, once we are already half way down it. But on the positive note I think we could find the path we want to be on we just need to find the other path which leads to that one. If that made any sense to anyone else... not that anyone is reading this haha!