T2

So things are going rather well, things which were creating a fair bit of stress have now died down - thankfully! So yes, just positive outlook from now on! Although I always try to be positive in even the troublesome situations. It just helps I think :) and it makes things more enjoyable. For me anyway.

Just made myself some Buddha's Tears, which is a white tea. It's a very relaxing tea with a lovely but not overpowering fragrance. They are actually small flowers and when you put the hot water in and leave it for a couple minutes the flowers open up and it's ready to drink :). I love tea, so much variety. You couldn't possibly become bored of it! And it's so enjoyable, we found this tea shop called T2 and my golly! It smells SO good in there, and the tea's we tried were just amazing. I want to go there and buy some. But I think I'll have to wait until I have more money, I don't even feel like I have the room for small luxuries at the moment but at least I can enjoy the small luxuries I already own :)

Heartbeats

Image from weheartit

I read something just before which made me think about how within society there is often this warped view of what a successful relationship is. Creating unrealistic expectations, and I'm sure we all know what happens when we have expectations which don't live up to what we expected. What happens? We get disappointed. That's why I have come to believe to entering into every situation with an open mind and willingness to deal with things in the case something does go pear shaped. Whether it be a dinner party or a new moisturizer. But specifically speaking about relationships (with your significant other, and by that I mean boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife). What's a successful relationship to you? I believe in a relationship both people should be willing to compromise. An equal relationship where both partners feel content and not taken for granted. Where each person feels they can openly express their opinions or concerns without fear of being judged. Communication to me is a HUGE component of a relationship. You need to be able to express how you feel and I believe the listener should then listen without judgment and respond according to how they feel but in a sensitive manner towards how their partner feels. But of coarse both people need to consider how the other feels and that's when the compromise comes in and decide on a solution which you are both happy with. I believe relationships need respect, trust, honesty and genuinely caring for the other person and of coarse loving them. Even with all that said not all of those things are easily achieved, especially when we think about our emotions and how not always are we able to deal with and express how we feel in a controlled way. These things aren't always easy, relationships aren't always roses and butterflies. They can be tough sometimes, but they are definitely worth it. When their good it's the most fulfilling feeling and can make you feel happiness in ways you didn't know existed. Love is powerful.

And when it comes to respect, I can't stress enough how important it is to me. When it comes to your values, beliefs and boundaries. I don't believe anyone has the right to question those. Of coarse I think it's alright to disagree, if say your values or beliefs were different but to do it in a way without putting down what they believe. Open discussion is a good thing but not for anyone to try to cross your boundaries or put down what you believe or value. You are your own person and deserve to be respected. If someone doesn't respect you, then really I don't think they deserve you. Respect is a two way street though of coarse, so it needs to come from both sides.

This is all only my opinion though, people value different things in relationships and no one is right or wrong. I really believe in individuality, no one is the same, we all think differently and we all want different things. I would never judge someone for what they believe or value.

Constellation of the heart

Today just for the sake of it, I am going to go through some of my favourite things :) and why their my favourite.

My Favourite movie

I absolutely adore this movie. I have watched it more times than I can count and I still enjoy it just as much as the first time I saw it. Gary Oldman did a fabulous job as Dracula! I don't think anyone could top what a great job he did. He practically draws the audience into his darkness and passion through till the end. I loved how from the start of the movie it explains how Dracula became Dracula and his bond with Elisabeta was formed. The love story between Dracula and Mina/Elisabeta is one which is very captivating in itself, as well as heartbreaking to me. Eternal love which due to unfortunate circumstance was not ever able to be lived. The storyline itself is amazing, but this movie is just as pleasing visually. The set and the costumes are so beautiful, it kind of has a dark enchanting feeling to it, which I love and suited it very well. Gosh I loved the dresses Mina and Lucy wore, I want one! This in my opinion is by far the best Dracula movie, ever made.

My Favourite Music
This is a hard one for me, because there are so many songs I love. I think I will just have to name a couple of them, in no particular order.

Kate Bush - Constellation of the heart, Kite, Babooshka, This woman's work, The red shoes

Pink Floyd - On the turning away, Wish you were here

Annie Lennox - Love song for a Vampire

Vanessa Carlton - Come undone

Nikola Sarcevic - Nobody without you

Suzanne Vega - The Queen and the Soldier

Enya - Only time, Caribbean Blue

Alanis Morissette - Head over Feet

Iron Maiden - Wasted years, Run to the Hills, Blood Brothers

Meat Loaf - I would do anything for love

Bjork - Pagan Poetry

Dire Straits - Romeo and Juliet

Angus and Julia Stone - For you

Regina Spektor - Better, Eet, The Call, Laughing with

Maria Mena - Miss you love

Sia - My love

These are some of the songs (believe me there are more) that at some stage I listened to over and over and over again. When I listen to music for me to really like it, it has to make me feel something. Of coarse we all can like a song because it sounds good, but the ones that stick with me the ones I love the most have meaning to me. I would give an explanation with each one but there would just be to much haha!

My Favourite Colour
Yes, it would most definitely be purple :D

My Favourite food
Well this is also a hard one, I love food. I am a vegetarian though, so as long as it does not have anything with meat, I'll probably eat it :) Some of the first things which come to mind would be:

-Chocolate, anything and everything made of it. You probably could have guessed right?



























-Sandwiches! All different combination's :) yum yum!

-Cornflakes, yes that is correct. I really like cornflakes, every since I was little.

-Sushi, I could eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

-Avacardo, I could eat this with pretty much anything.






















-Spaghetti (vegetarian kind of coarse) :)

-Fruit!

My Favourite Animal
I have always had a fascination for Elephants. They are so huge but so gentle (unless they feel under threat, which is understandable. Especially with poachers :/ who will take their life for just one single tusk). I remember watching an elephant documentary on elephants, and I was so touched by it and it made me fall even more in love with them. They are so intelligent, and it has been proved they too can feel grief. Elephants even stay with their family, they travel in herds with the other elephants who are related to them (well the females, the males elephants leave once they are old enough to join the other bull elephants).
Just watching elephants interact how could someone not believe they too have feelings. I don't know how anyone could harm them, I mean where would their heart be? This animal has just as much of a want to live just as you or I. And they are taking that away from them.
These are some things I found on elephants, which better helps explain their capability for emotion (found at http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/unforgettable/emotions.html):

Love

There is no greater love in elephant society than the maternal kind. Nobody who observes a mother with her calf could doubt this. It is one of the most touching aspects of elephant social customs. The calf is so small compared to the adult that it walks under its mother, who, incredibly, does not step on it or trip over it. Mother and child remain in constant touch. If a calf strays too far from its mother, she will fetch it. The mother often touches her child with trunk and legs, helping it to its feet with one foot and her trunk. She carries it over obstacles and hauls it out of pits or ravines. She pushes it under her to protect it from predators or hot sun. She bathes it, using her trunk to spray water over it and then to scrub it gently. The mother steers her calf by grasping its tail with her trunk, and the calf follows, holding its mother's tail. When the calf squeals in distress, its mother and others rush to its protection immediately. It is easy to see why the bond between mother and daughter lasts 50 years or more.

Grief

One of the most moving displays of elephant emotion is the grieving process. Elephants remember and mourn loved ones, even many years after their death. When an elephant walks past a place that a loved one died he or she will stop and take a silent pause that can last several minutes. While standing over the remains, the elephant may touch the bones of the dead elephant (not the bones of any other species), smelling them, turning them over and caressing the bones with their trunk. Researchers don't quite understand the reason for this behavior. They guess the elephants could be grieving. Or they could they be reliving memories. Or perhaps the elephant is trying to recognize the deceased. Whatever the reason, researchers suspect that the sheer interest in the dead elephant is evidence that elephants have a concept of death. In UNFORGETTABLE ELEPHANTS, when Erin is wounded, Echo and the family never wander far from her over the course of several days, leaving only to drink. After Erin's death, her family touched and smelled the bones, as filmmaker Martyn Colbeck says, "as if they were trying to understand what had happened."

Researchers have described mother elephants who appear to go through a period of despondency after the death of a calf, dragging behind the herd for days. They've also witnessed an elephant herd circling a dead companion disconsolately. After some time, and likely when they realized the elephant was dead, the family members broke off branches, tore grass clumps and dropped these on the carcass. Another researcher noted a family of African elephants surrounding a dying matriarch. The family stood around her and tried to get her up with their tusks and put food in her mouth. When the rest of the herd finally moved on, one female and one calf stayed with her, touching her with their feet.





























































They are just gorgeous and I have the utmost respect for them.

My Favourite Book
Another difficult one! I have read a fair few books, mostly biographies. Also the house of Night books and Fallen, I liked those as well. But it would be the biographies which stay with me the most. I will list the ones I have read:
-Mao's Last Dancer
-Helen Keller
-Daughter of china
-Chinese Cinderella
-Anne Frank's Diary
-Nancy Wake
-In the name of honor
-Not without you
-Stolen
Each and every one of these books, touched me in some way. So if asked what my favourite book was, it would be all of them.

Dooo it

It suddenly got very cold quickly. Today hasn't been the best day, at the moment I feel like I am in one of those moments where I don't feel right. This has nothing to do with the other people in my life. This is just to do with me personally, because there are certain things I wish to achieve and I'm not putting my best foot forward to make those things happen. I think I need to think about what I need to do to make everything work with everything else. I need to fully get organised, I need to stop putting things off and I just have to do it.

Image from: vintagerosegarden.tumblr.com

Just a short post quickly because I really need to sleep! I went to the art Gallery the other day with my family, and I loved it! We didn't get to spend much time there though which was disappointing. I am in the city tomorrow though so I could go back myself. Entry is free as well which is even better :). The frames which bordered each painting were so intricately designed and were stunning. The paintings themselves were beautiful and their frames accentuated their beauty. There is something about paintings which I just love, I could spend hours in that gallery. I kind of love paintings the way I also love books. I want to get back into reading, just haven't found a book as yet which I would like to read. I am quite picky when it comes to books, but my Aunt and I have very similar taste in books. So I get most of the new books to read from her, since I trust she will pick ones I will enjoy also. She is actually sending me a parcel with some things and she said she is going to put in some books for me, so I will probably have some to read soon :). Next time I am in the city I also need to go to the Max Brenner chocolate place! Looks so good, I will definitely be posting about my experience there once I get to go :D! I better go to bed, goodnight!

Stepping stones

Have you ever read something and you suspect it's about a certain thing, but you don't know for sure? Well that's what I just did, I read something and freaked the hell out. But I don't even know if what my brain added it up to be, is even correct. Yet the chance that it could be, practically makes me want to be sick. The thing is, I believe so much in being open, with everyone close to you. Because they are the people who shouldn't have to be guessing about you.

So I try to wear my heart on my sleeve, and really I'm alright at it. Everyone's just scared of being hurt, that's what it really comes down to. But I know the people closest to me, wouldn't want to hurt me. Well at least you'd hope not haha and if they do then I just take it and chuck it out the window. I tread so softly when it comes to other people's feelings, but I come across so many other people who don't really seem to care about your/someone else's feelings.

I love who we are, when we are around us.

I miss Caleb so much. And it doesn't matter for how long I get to speak to him each day, it still never seems like enough. Without physical touch and being able to see them or know they are just in the next room. Things that people would be so use to, these little things excite me so much when Caleb is here with me. To know I can run into the room and know he'll be there is like Christmas for me, because it happens so rarely. To stand beside him and feel his hands wrap around my waist is a comfort like no other. Living in different cities has in some ways made me realize how special each and every thing is, and how hard it is to be without it for any period of time. Such as a smile and seeing their face light up, or hearing them laugh and having tickle fights on the bed. I miss being able to do these things, things which people wouldn't usually think twice about. I feel my heart ache every time I even see a couple just holding hands, and how I wish it could be a possibility for me each day. I just can't wait until the time comes when I can wake up and have him there with me every morning of every single day.