Coconut

Ok ok ok! I am actually having withdrawals since I have not blogged in like a week or so. I was really looking forward to sitting down to blog today. This week has been so full on! Caleb was here, which was amazing :) I miss him so much though. But when I get to be with him it just makes everything worthwhile. We had lots of fun moments this week! Soundwave which was SUPER AWESOME! Hells to the yeah, Iron Maiden was sooo freakin good. So were all the other bands for that matter :) except for one called something like One Day As a Lion, I didn't like them at all haha. But overall was an awesome day, except for the fact it was really really hot. We also went to the beach while he was here which was really nice :) I hadn't been to the beach in ages. We looked at all the rock pools and stood in the water. Something really funny happened when we were gardening as well, and Caleb was singing as we were in the garden. I couldn't stop laughing haha! It was really hard when I had to drop him off at the train station. But we are planning on him coming back here in April, which is close :)!

There were a few down moments this week, just family wise. Caleb was very supportive though. I was worried about him being here because I didn't want him to be upset about any of it. But he reassured me he was just worried about me. It was pretty full on, just everything. But everything is better now, which is good. I was just really worried.

Was the first day back at uni today, pretty chilled. Still thinking about which area of psychology I was to choose my career in. There are so many choices and a fair few ones I would like to try out. Which I can, just means more study.

I have had a skin breakout of pimples as well which I think are due to stress -sighh! I need to drink more water as well. There will be many benefits. Currently I have my feet soaking in some water, they have been so dry and I keep telling myself to do something about it. I want to look after my skin better, which also includes my feets :). So soaking my feet and then moisturising and then putting on socks to lock in the moisture! I also need to start meditating again! I was reading in my psychology text book that meditation is very beneficial for the brain and can even reduce the chance of health problems. And it can just make you a happier person in general, more fulfilled. I think many people are hesitant of trying it because they feel it can't be true or that its time consuming? When to me it isn't either, you can do it for as long as you want to, doesn't need to be like two hours or anything. Or I guess maybe just not interested which is fair enough, each to their own. I personally love it.

I think this is long already so fairwell! :)

And don't be suprised if I love you for all that you are

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Lyrics from 'Head Over Feet' by Alanis Morissette

I loved this song from the moment I heard it, and it instantly made me think of Caleb. Because ever since I met him, I felt like this song really explained how I felt towards him. I think Alanis paints love in such a fantastic light within the lyrics of this song, it's so positive.
Caleb is asleep on my bed at the moment :) he looked so adorable and I couldn't bring myself to wake him, he was so tired. I feel so lucky to have him, even though having the distance between us is hard. I miss him so much, but it makes the time we have together even more special.

this must be what beauty sounds like

I would really love to learn to play the piano, I've wanted to learn ever since I can remember. And one day I'm going to. Just have to wait for that day I am able to afford a piano/keyboard, since right now I definitely could not afford one. But all in good time, it'll be worth it once I finally get one one day :). Listening to songs, especially songs with the piano as the main instrument. Songs which are beautiful and I love to listen to them, make me want one even more. I'd love to learn to play them. I have also been told by people I know who play instruments, that it can be very calming and peaceful to just sit down and play.

breathe

I was just reading a magazine and they were referring to our "spiritual selves." The way I see our "spiritual self" is just us, as a whole. Kind of like our soul, our being. One reason why I love meditation so much, is that I often feel as though I neglect this part of myself (I think most people do). As in I never take the time to give myself that breather, to just take a step back and reflect. Ponder on whats happening in my life and seeing how I feel about everything that's going on. In these times, there is so much going on in our lives. Expectations we feel we must live up to, meeting societal demands, tending to the relationships we have. I think if you asked just random people, "How much time a week do you take just to have a moment to yourself, to relax and reflect?" most people would do very little of it. But why do we do that? No one has ever in my life, made me think that having my time to myself and just giving myself that moment to reflect, no one has ever made that seem important. It was only within the past year that I have really been thinking about this and reading into meditation and it's benefits, that I have come to see how important it is.

Life can be so full on with school/work/university, relationships, ect. You'll have the days when you are feeling really good, and you'll have the days when you are feeling really sad. Life can be tough. Don't you think we deserve to take that step back? It's ok to grab that cup of tea and just sit outside for like two hours admiring the scenery, taking pleasure in the simple things and seeing the beauty within the world we live. I think we are so on the go all the time, we don't take the time to stop and see the beautiful things all around us. To live in the moment and appreciate our lives for everything they are. We have gotten into this habit of constantly looking into the future, planning our lives out instead of letting it just happen. I think some planning is good, because sometimes we need to do that (things like appointments ect). But once that is done, remember to concentrate on where we are now.

Meditation is wonderful, it's that time when you take the chance to find a quiet place and sit and reflect on your thoughts, whats happening in your life and seeing how you feel about it all. It helps you to overcome the things that scare or hurt you. Move on from the past torments and helps you to live for the here and now. It can make you feel happier, more content with your life. It teaches you patience and concentration. Those are just some of the benefits. Of coarse meditation takes practice and you won't receive it's rewards straight away, they come over time.

Be kind to yourself and to others, we all deserve to be happy :)

"There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complexe package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try and make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you."
-Stacey Charter

Do you see what I see?

Well I have been rather productive recently just with things I know need doing. I cooked dinner tonight and cut my pinky finger, really hurt. I seem to have a habit of doing it, I just need to stay away from graters I think. It's getting closer to my birthday which is exciting! Caleb will be here :) which I am very muchly looking forward to. And we got tickets to soundwave!! So lots of exciting things coming up, as well as my birthday dinner.


Anyway! Today I wanted to blog about, paintings. How I adore them, honestly they are just mesmerizing to me as I am sure they are to many people. And how I wish I could paint, even though we all can paint, it's just whether we're good at it or not. Although I don't think you need to be a skilled painter to create a beautiful piece of art. I love to look at paintings and I find them inspirational, beautiful and they are able to make you feel things. All different emotions, understanding of what is trying to be depicted through the imagery. And they make me think, what inspired this artist to paint this? They intrigue me and I love it. I am going to list some artists and show one of the paintings by them which I love, even though there are definitely more than one which I love.

John Waterhouse - Pandora, 1896


































































Vincent Van Gogh - Almond branches in bloom, 1890





























Ernest Herbert - Ophelia, 1910










































Salvador Dali - Meditative rose, 1958






























John Anster Fitzgerald - The stuff that dreams are made of, 1858

Frederick George Cotman - One of the family,























Jean Baptiste Monge -










































George Clausen - Twilight












































Arthur Rackham - Little Miss Muffet, Little Red Riding Hood, Alice

Love's Flame

When darkness forces its company

Leaving sorrow in its wake

Grasping our humanity

Bends and twirls uncontrolled

Gradually withering, gripping to its core

Suddenly its flame illuminates all around us

We feel our soul glow

A light so untainted

Strong enough to overcome

Calm and at peace once more

Delicate warmth surrounds all who enters its presence

Allowing comfort, a love so pure

True in all its colors, honest it is

Opening up to trust, showing its frailty

Offering a chance to cherish or abandon

© Kristi

I wrote this in about 8 minuets and I thought it turned out alright. It still needs work, but I decided to post it anyway. I think it's pretty clear about it's meaning, the metaphor of a flame used to explain love. How fragile a flame is, you can light it and keep it burning or you can put it out. The same as love. The bends in the flame and the twirls, the darkness all symbolizing that love is hard sometimes and the flame becomes weaker gripping to the wick to keep burning. But once the wind has calmed the flame returns to its original strength, as with love the hard times can be overcome and we become stronger for it. We grow and learn together, bringing us closer. Love I think is also about vulnerability, opening up to that person and letting ourselves be vulnerable and know it's ok. And towards the end I speak about how love can be freeing, empowering, it can bring light back into our lives where there was once darkness. It completes and comforts us, a life without love would truly be no life at all.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. - Mother Teresa

And I think also just about kindness in general. Some people are very blunt with what they say, they tell everyone "they tell it how it is." Yet, I wonder why. I am the kind of person who always thinks before I speak, I think about how it could effect people. Will this comment make someone upset? And then if it will, I question it's importance. If I truly believe this bit of information is something important, then it is fair enough to be said. But if not, then why cause that person unnecessary suffering? People often question me as to why I don't say certain things, and it's like they don't understand why I wouldn't say something that could upset someone. I would much prefer to offer a compliment or encouragement. To touch a person's day with kindness, rather than something which could make them upset. But somehow some people don't think of it that way. I have had people point things out about me, in front of other people, things that were personal and were difficult for me. Yet they would say it in front of everyone, not considering how it would effect me. But lots of people do that, I just know how it feels and would never want anyone else to have to deal with it. I just wish people could see and actually care about what they said to other people. You never know what a comment could do to someone, hurt them, lower self esteem. Seeing other people happy, makes me happy, I don't want to hurt anyone, because it hurts me.

green containers and spiders

Sometimes I don't know whether to listen to my heart or my head. My heart insists on challenging everything my head says, it's as though my heart knows better.

Sure know something

So I've been reminiscing on things I probably should have done differently, but then I think... stop right there! We are here, in the present and this is the time that matters. Don't worry about what happened in the past, because it happened and there is nothing you can do about it, so stop worrying and focus on whats happening right now. And don't worry about the future either, because its practically an illusion, we can picture in our minds how we want our futures, but we have no idea whether it will turn out that way - an illusion.

I always avoid things that make me anxious, but then make myself even more anxious because time ticks away and that thing that still needs to be tended to has not been. Therefore making the situation even worse for myself. Why do I do this? Yes I am scared of confronting this situation, but the longer I leave it, the scarier it becomes. So really there is no logic in putting it off. So you know what, I am going to stop blogging and do it right now.